"My graduation party is next wednesday... My graduation party is next wednesday... My graduation party is next wednesday... My graduation party is next wednesday"
I kept on telling myself this simple fact... A fact that I simply cannot believe.... you know these events that shine in your life.. events that you always remember.. always keep memories of.. you know.. events like you being born... your first steps... your first school.. your first day at college...definitly my graduation party is one of those events.. the sad thing is that it's not a "first" event.. instead.. it's a "last"...
I've always divided my significant moments in to two types....
"First" moments, which is the happy type of my memories.. it always refers to your first steps in whatever what... It's a new begining...always full of hope and great expectations...
"Last" moments are the sad ones... my last day in school.. last day before leaving my second home land.. and so on...
Generally.. I never liked parties... they always refer to a "last" event.. birthday parties shows the last day of a lost year... graduation parties is your last assemble as one group... when you find everyone smiling and telling you "Good bye" at the end.. at that time.. u know u will never see most of them again....
But anyway.. we all try to document our moments in everyway.. pictures.. videos... even the good memory you keep in your mind is a kind of documentation.. to remember this moment always as a happy one..
have you ever opened you albums.. looked in your pictures and thaught that "this was the happiest days of my life"... most probable you will be wrong... because at the time when u were taking these pictures... your feelings were different... we just remember from those pictures the smily faces looking at us... we never remember our real feelings then, which maybe totally different than what u see in the picture... do u remember your smiling face looking at the camera at your first day in school???... do u remember your feelings then???.... do u remember how afraid you was entering such a big world for the first time???... no... you just remember your happy face..
but you don't care so much... all what u care of is to just keep the good memory...
That's what I will try to do next wednesday.. I don't like parties.. yes.. I feel like my graduation party will be more like a goodbye party... this gives me a sad feeling...
But what I'm going to do is to just keep the good memories of that day so that maybe after ten or twenty years.. me too... open my album.. look at my graduation party pictures.. smile and say: " these were the happiest days in my life"... what do u think??
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Yes sara.. you are right..
I was talking to Ahmed about something related to that issue... He wanted to format a hard disk oneday and i felt his pain from that process.. he doesn't like to lose old things... he wants to keep every single old byte in it..
Do you know what was my advice to him? Before you hate me ... I want to clarify something.. I used -as you may know- to take difficult decisions.. I don't like to say the reasons but this is what I have noticed during my life.. I like to take challenge decision that i might feel pain after ...
nerga3 tani to my advice to Ahmed.. I told him that If I were in his place... I will format the harddisk without thinking in its contents... I have told him that since that you are not using things frequently and in most cases you don't remember what is on your hard disk so they are not important...
If I were him, I will just backup things I remember and usually using ..
And I will delete all other things!!
Takhayali!! .. this is also my attitude in life ... BUT don't worry.. if our relationship wasn't strong enough to be remembered in every moment .. so we must "erase" it ...
But as you know, I can't erase our relation :P.. keda mesh haroo7 elsho3'l, wala elbeet, wala ha3od 3ala elinternet.. ya3ni enti waraya waraya :)
too many different feelings
but they are all common and natural.
I had the same feelings during my graduation party. actually, I even didn't want to attend and due to a phone call at the last moment i changed my mind and went there with casual clothes. didnt take too many pics and didt have that much fun. but the best feeling ever was there :) I will miss ya all guys...
you know, try to enjoy that day as much as u can. also try not to make it the last day to see each other. For me and my closest friends, we have a regular weekly meeting that I try never to miss unless like now when Im outside the country or so.. at a cafe in town center. try to make one regular social gathering at any place once a month at least. it will keep u connected in a way u never imagined..
Best Wishes...
Salamo alaikom wa Rahmato Allah
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