Saturday 8 May 2010

Away..In my little tent..

When I was a little girl, a tiny 4 years-old little girl. I was having a redicilous dream. We had this toys store next to where we live in UAE. It was huge full of every delightful toy that a kid can ever imagine, but I was always paying attention to this little tent. A tent that you can structure that resembles a small house for kids.

Every time we go to this store, I always go there and keep looking at it, I remember the feeling when I look at it...so warm and so safe.. I remember that I was sometimes sneak to this store with my friends just to go and watch it.. For a reason I cannot explain, I never actually asked my parents to get it for me until 3 years later...and finally I got it...A little yellow and red tent with a door. The day I bought it was a good day in my life.

I kept it until we get back to Egypt where I set it on a corner of the house that nobody usually pass by. Although it was tiny, I added all my favorite things inside it. I put my favorite books, teddy bears, toys, cassette player with my favorite songs (I managed to add electricity to it!), added a blanket inside it.. I even put a small lamp to be able to light it when it gets dark..

As time passes by, this place turned to be my only destination when I need to be away. That's when I go there, close the door, light up the lamp and cry, fall asleep or start reading a book. Everything seems far away. My whole world turns to be inside this lightened tent and everything else is outside..I remember how safe I feel when I find that dark is everywhere except inside my little tent that protects me from whatever is outside. Protects me from other people, bad days and from regretting my silly decisions.

Time passed and we decided to move from our home, I was 17 then. While moving, my little tent was disassembled and never assembled again. I guess everybody assumed that I was too old for this tent so it disappeared somewhere and I never saw it again. Maybe they were right..I was too old for a kids tent but I wasn't that old for having a place to hide in for some time.

I'm writing this because today I thought that I am missing my little tent. I miss this small place that barely fits me and I miss lighting the lamp inside it and feeling like a little shiny spot in the middle of no where. I miss it and couldn't find it, that why I opened this page and started talking about how it felt being away, in my little lost tent..